My name is April and I perform stand-up comedy. I feel kind of weird trying to convince you of my hilarity via the Internet, so I'll say this: People have allowed me to perform on the same stages as the likes of Patton Oswalt, Todd Glass, Jimmy Pardo, Maria Bamford, and ELTON JOHN (this is true!) to name a few... so I can't be too horrible at this. I mean, right? Plus, I'm even on television sometimes, and we all know only the highest quality people/things/concepts get to be on TV!

Okay, after all that stuff that almost sounds self-deprecating, I will say that people outside of my immediate family and small circle of friends have told me that I'm funny (including GLENN M.F. DANZIG— for real), so that has to legitimize me somehow. It would be awesome (and flattering!) if, after seeing me, you shared that opinion. If not, it's cool; I understand. To each his own and all that. One person's trash is another person's treasure. What goes around comes around. Two birds, one stone. You snooze you lose!